No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
