Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
