you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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