I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
