you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
someone threw a dead crab at me
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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