i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
