Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize