he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize