I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
