I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
