ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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