she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
