a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
