no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
