Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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