I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
