Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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