tell your sister to shave her snatch
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize