This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Your cock deserves a montage
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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