if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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