How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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