go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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