Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
