she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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