Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
