at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
