Your favorite bartender is back from prision
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
