She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she smelled like a LAN party
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
