one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
