its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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