I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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