Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
