I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
