I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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