Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
