I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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