dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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