i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
