Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
