Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
