I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
