I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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