Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
