I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
