it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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