i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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