I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
