i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
