Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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