i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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