My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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