Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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