I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
