She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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