I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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