I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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