R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
