do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
