dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
