How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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