I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Randomize
