he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
