if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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